Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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