This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
3 2 1 whiskey
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
