what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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