So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
