Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
