So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
