Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
