he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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