OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
