oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
