I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm just crazy horny about you
The feeling are messing with the penis
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
