so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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