what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
