unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize