she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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