belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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