it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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