The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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