It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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