You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
