I just found puke in my bra..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
