where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
