sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
