I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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