Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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