i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize