I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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