yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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