So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm both gender and math confused
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
