Edward fifth and chaser hands
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize