I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize