True but thats because hes a fetus.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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