who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
