i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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