He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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