Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
