I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize