The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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