I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
