I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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