so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
