Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
