Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
