yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
