I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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