I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
