I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
