I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
