If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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