I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
