Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
