Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
