woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize