I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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