I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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