K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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