And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
