4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
