I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize