I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize