This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize