How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
