After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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