Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They have beer where we have blood.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
