so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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