went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
