He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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